Swing summer.

It's a summer of dreams so far. Except for the amount of weddings, leaving no weekend or pound spare for me. And I apologise if that sounds selfish.

But, the main problem is their homogenity. Everyone's unique idea I saw last week. And the week before that. Poems in invitation cards all copied from the same few websites and speeches filled with the same few gags. What happened to the individual.

And yet as week follows week their families cluck as if us heathens have never seen the like of their imagination and generousity.

Well, too bad. I have.

I'd like to go to some weddings that truly said something about the couple. Where their personalities were important. And their friends. I'd like to go to a wedding where the soulless photographer didn't herd people round for three hours. I'd like to go to a wedding where the food is good and the drinks are free.

Sack off the namby pamby shit and just buy the guests their drinks.

That's what will ensure everyone has a good time.

And getting married in head dresses made from pine cones and grass would help too.